We've all been at the crossroads of a major decision. Should I leave my marriage? Do I take the new job? Should I make that investment? Do I write off that friend I've outgrown? All of these questions seem different in nature but they all have the same common denominator - fear. It could be fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of the consequences, but when you cannot arrive at an answer, fear is the culprit.
So how do we jump out of fear and into faith based decision making? We turn to our feelings.
Most of us identify with our thoughts, not our feelings. We faithfully follow the thoughts in our head because we associate our identity, our personality, with our thoughts. We are not our thoughts - we are the observer of our thoughts.
Our thoughts are actually based on conditioning, experiences outside of ourselves that we've:
Been told.
Experienced.
Observed.
The problem with conditioning is that every experience you have is not the same. When your parents told you that belief, it was based on their experience. When you experienced or observed it for yourself, that was one specific event in time, with different variables than what you might experience now.
To listen to and follow our thoughts blindly, is to listen to and follow conditioning. To find your truth - in this moment - consult your feelings.
If this seems counterintuitive, I completely understand. Most of us have a thought, which engenders a feeling that results in an action. We blindly react to a feeling as if it is the truth, but our feelings are not the message. Our feelings are the messenger - alerting us that we need to go back to our thoughts, where the message originated.
You have the power to change your thoughts at any given moment, but you first have to buy into the fact that you are the observer of your thoughts. Try this out. What's the first thought that comes to mind? Now, what is your opinion of your thought? And why? The fact that you have an opinion of your thought proves you are the observer! And as the observer, you can choose a better feeling thought.
Now to the second hurdle - facing our feelings. Most of us were taught to stuff down uncomfortable feelings. So the last thing you want to do is face them. They can seem scary and daunting. I get it. I've been there. But the truth of the matter is, if you allow your feelings to surface, they can no longer have a grip on you. This allows you to see the truth more clearly, and make a decision from a place of empowerment versus from a place fear.
So the next time you're up for a big decision, try this journaling exercise:
Write down the big question at the top of your paper.
Then jot down every feeling you have about it.
Afterwards, close your eyes and breath in & out to the count of five.
Feel all of your feelings (and this may take several sessions).
Write the reasons for your feelings - the thoughts you have.
What possible conditioning could be influencing your thoughts?
List the action you can take based on what you can control.
Determine the best course of action based on the facts of what you found.
Lastly, how does this decision feel - empowered or uneasy?
If you're still uneasy, go back to your feelings to discover the messages behind the emotions. Sometimes the deeper we've buried a truth, the more time it will take to excavate.
The key to success is a perspective shift - from the pressure of having to make the RIGHT decision to
giving ourselves the freedom to make ANY decision. knowing no matter what we are learning. With each experience we learn, we grow and we expand. We have more information to make our next decision.
When I stopped trying to be perfect and instead strived to be authentic, all the chains were loosed. It is the most freeing and wonderful feeling. And as your confidence grows, more and more like minded people and circumstances are attracted into your life. All you have to do is trust your feelings. You are worthy. You are unique. You are needed.
Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!
Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Becoming Authentically You, All is Well, Your Year to Face Fears, Trading Problems for Prayer
So how do we jump out of fear and into faith based decision making? We turn to our feelings.
Most of us identify with our thoughts, not our feelings. We faithfully follow the thoughts in our head because we associate our identity, our personality, with our thoughts. We are not our thoughts - we are the observer of our thoughts.
Our thoughts are actually based on conditioning, experiences outside of ourselves that we've:
Been told.
Experienced.
Observed.
The problem with conditioning is that every experience you have is not the same. When your parents told you that belief, it was based on their experience. When you experienced or observed it for yourself, that was one specific event in time, with different variables than what you might experience now.
To listen to and follow our thoughts blindly, is to listen to and follow conditioning. To find your truth - in this moment - consult your feelings.
If this seems counterintuitive, I completely understand. Most of us have a thought, which engenders a feeling that results in an action. We blindly react to a feeling as if it is the truth, but our feelings are not the message. Our feelings are the messenger - alerting us that we need to go back to our thoughts, where the message originated.
You have the power to change your thoughts at any given moment, but you first have to buy into the fact that you are the observer of your thoughts. Try this out. What's the first thought that comes to mind? Now, what is your opinion of your thought? And why? The fact that you have an opinion of your thought proves you are the observer! And as the observer, you can choose a better feeling thought.
Now to the second hurdle - facing our feelings. Most of us were taught to stuff down uncomfortable feelings. So the last thing you want to do is face them. They can seem scary and daunting. I get it. I've been there. But the truth of the matter is, if you allow your feelings to surface, they can no longer have a grip on you. This allows you to see the truth more clearly, and make a decision from a place of empowerment versus from a place fear.
So the next time you're up for a big decision, try this journaling exercise:
Write down the big question at the top of your paper.
Then jot down every feeling you have about it.
Afterwards, close your eyes and breath in & out to the count of five.
Feel all of your feelings (and this may take several sessions).
Write the reasons for your feelings - the thoughts you have.
What possible conditioning could be influencing your thoughts?
List the action you can take based on what you can control.
Determine the best course of action based on the facts of what you found.
Lastly, how does this decision feel - empowered or uneasy?
If you're still uneasy, go back to your feelings to discover the messages behind the emotions. Sometimes the deeper we've buried a truth, the more time it will take to excavate.
The key to success is a perspective shift - from the pressure of having to make the RIGHT decision to
giving ourselves the freedom to make ANY decision. knowing no matter what we are learning. With each experience we learn, we grow and we expand. We have more information to make our next decision.
When I stopped trying to be perfect and instead strived to be authentic, all the chains were loosed. It is the most freeing and wonderful feeling. And as your confidence grows, more and more like minded people and circumstances are attracted into your life. All you have to do is trust your feelings. You are worthy. You are unique. You are needed.
Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!
Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Becoming Authentically You, All is Well, Your Year to Face Fears, Trading Problems for Prayer
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